Thought on Corporate “Persons”

Since corporations are people deserving the right to free speech, let’s just give them the right to vote! One corporation, one vote.

That leaves us wondering who should cast the vote for any particular corporation? Since the executives’ time is worth SO much money, let’s not distract them from their busy schedules to have them cast votes on behalf of their respective corporations. Why not just find the lowest-paid employee to cast the vote? The employee (probably a janitor or receptionist) can cast a vote in her own behalf, then take an additional few seconds to vote on behalf of her corporation.

This would allow corporations to minimize expenses and maximize profit-making and at the same time enable our dearest fellow citizens to exercise their right to vote. It would also save them from spending all that money on television advertising during political campaigns. And we wouldn’t have to listen to it! It’s a “win-win” as they say in the business world.

Pottersland: Where We Are Now

Move over, George Bailey. We’re all in Pottersland now.

In the classic movie, It’s a Wonderful Life, George Bailey (Jimmy Stewart) received a wonderful gift. He got the chance to see his beloved community of Bedford Falls, as it would have been if he had never lived. It turned out that George and George alone had saved the charming community from a dreadful fate—the fate of being re-made into Pottersville—a terrible and cruel place fashioned after the designs of the evil (and very wealthy) Mr. Potter.

Of course, in real life, no one person could have saved Bedford Falls, and the movie isn’t about Bedford Falls anyway. It’s about George.

So, what will it take to save our nation from being transformed into Pottersland? Today’s Supreme Court ruling gets us nearly there—to Pottersland that is. The Court, in a 5-4 decision, ruled that laws forbidding corporations from buying political advertising are unconstitutional. The reason? The rights of a corporation to “free speech” would be violated if the corporation were not permitted to buy all the political advertising its cold, dark, profit-maximizing heart desires.

Crying an Ocean of Tears

Breaks your heart doesn’t it? Seeing the rights of Northrop Grumman, Monsanto, or AT&T trampled underfoot! No doubt, this has been weighing heavy on your mind—well, fret no more!

Now your favorite corporations can speak their minds about politics. The makers of Vioxx, Celebrex, bisphenol A, and PCBs can let us know what’s on their minds. The organizations who brought us the sub prime mortgage, liar loans, mortgage-backed-securities,  credit default swaps, and collateralized debt obligations can freshen our airwaves, enlighten our minds, and lift our spirits with advice aplenty. We can count on the makers of high-fructose corn syrup for their collective wisdom on the school lunch program. In case you were wondering whether or not Texaco would want more legislation limiting air pollution, now you will be able to hear right from the oil company’s mouth!

Perhaps you share my worry that our Supreme Court has neglected our corporations’ other rights. Why focus so narrowly just on freedom of speech?

Doesn’t Goldman Sachs deserve the right to bear arms? What about Lockheed Martin’s need to be protected from unreasonable search and seizure? Does Blackwater (now Xe) need protection from being forced to join a state church? Shouldn’t HealthSouth have protection from excessive bail? Alas, so much to do for our corporations and so little time.

But, what if you want to hear from George Bailey?

He has a right to free speech too you know. There’s just one small problem. Remember that the financial deck was stacked against George. He was not a rich man. He could speak his mind, but his audience would be extremely limited, even if quite a crowd did gather in his living room about the time that little bell rang on his Christmas tree. So, George’s ability to exercise his right of free speech is severely limited by his modest means.

George doesn’t count. And that’s pretty much where you and I are too. Here in Pottersland.

Arden Rea lives in Oklahoma City.